Saturday, January 2, 2010

Computers...I know nothing about them!

I want to apologize for the difficulty so many people have had when trying to post a comment. I am not computer savvy and I can't tell you why it's not working. I think if your comment is rejected at first, you can try to push the "post comment" button again and it may work. I ran across that problem a couple of times when I tried to post a comment.

Matthew is continuing to get stronger, although he suffers at night with a great deal of pain. Hopefully, he will have more medication tonight so that he can sleep better. He has been getting tired easily by visitors, but at the same time, seems to really appreciate all of the positive energy around him. I think that the time spent on his back is trying on his patience. He has mentioned several times that he looks forward to Tuesday when his leg will be removed from the traction. At that point, the pelvis surgeon will test his legs to determine whether his pelvis is stable. If it is stable, he will allow it to heal as it is. If he determines it is not stable, he will insert a pin into the back of his pelvis to achieve more stability. After that, Matthew will probably be able to get into a wheelchair and at least move around a bit.

I am amazed by how experiences like this slow life down. Matthew is looking forward to Tuesday when his leg can come out of a pin and it's possible that he may be able to roll slightly on his side to sleep. He can't wait. Three weeks ago I had difficulty holding onto those fleeting moments of pleasure. Many pleasurable moments would pass by and I did not notice. I intend to be mindful, but my mind was cluttered with the routines in my life. Whenever I go for a run in my neighborhood in the Pasadena area, I notice how my legs move so freely and I feel a sense of gratitude for my ability to run, for my legs and my health. I notice the breaths of fresh air I can take, the smells of the different trees and flowers, and the sounds of the birds. I feel grateful that I live in an area where I am surrounded by the beauty of nature. As my day goes on, though, I often lose sight of those moments. I stop noticing. I become frustrated with the amount of work I have to accomplish in a day. I become more and more worried and obsessed about what my future might hold and as my focus deepens on worry and frustration, I miss moments of beauty. I know Matthew will fully appreciate the moment when his leg is released from the pin and the weights. I know he will savor the first turn he takes onto his side and his first breath of fresh air outside of the hospital. This is such a clear reminder to me to appreciate, to express gratitude, and to notice the moments of beauty and of freedom in my life.

7 comments:

  1. Erin,

    I am a friend of Rima's, my cousin Natasha is Rima's very good friend. I wanted you to know that we are praying for Matt, and the whole family. A wonderful book for you to get your brother to read is called "The Survivors Club." It is amazing stories of people overcoming tragedy. They also have a website http://www.thesurvivorsclub.org/.

    Be Well,

    Stacy

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  2. Thank you, that sounds great!

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  3. I just had a chance to read the posts I missed while away for a week. I hope to visit you all this week!

    No matter what joy or pleasure I experienced this week while our family was in North Lake Tahoe, Matthew and your entire family always came to mind, and I stopped to say a prayer or voice a hope for you to share the peaceful feeling or the exuberance or enjoy the natural beauty I was seeing. I love you all and am so happy to hear that Matthew is making progress and I pray for his pain to ease. As Bob says "baby steps" keep you going in the right direction!

    Erin, you are a wise soul at such a young age...to know to truly enjoy and treasure and focus on the miracles of the moment sets you apart in a beautiful and inspirational way.

    (I hope this post goes through...last time I posted through Gillian's gmail). <3

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  4. It didn't work...this is Roberta on Gillian's account. Much Love and Hugs!

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  5. Two problems that your friends may be having both have to do with "cookies". First try clearing cookies. You do this by going into your preferences and in "privacy" you "show cookies". You can clear ALL cookies or scroll down to the cookies from this website (matthewscottkelly.blogspot.com) and click Remove. Don't worry they'll come back properly when you visit this site again.

    The second is specific to FireFox. Firefox is good at guarding you from cookies you don't want. What you need to do is relax this for this site only. Go to "Firefox" > "Prefernces..." > "Privacy" and check "Allow Cookies". Then click "Exceptions..." and add blogger.com

    :-)

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  6. Thanks so much for these thoughtful,moving,and well written updates Erin. Matt is very lucky to have you as a sister. You talked about remebering to take care of yourself, please tell your parents to do the same.

    -Billy G

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  7. Hi Erin. Please tell Matt he is the most popular person in my world right now. Everyone I know is hearing about him and are sending their positive vibes, prayers; whatever you believe in, they are sending the best of it. My co-worker Julie said, "I am reading Erin's blog every day and think of Matt, Erin and their parents all the time".

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