HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I want to wish everyone a wonderful new year!! My family and I are truly grateful for the blessings we have received and we feel ready to begin a year of healing and recovery. I am going to keep this short for now, as it is late, but I will write more tomorrow. I realized that I may not have included as many details about Matthew's current state of wellness as I would have liked in my previous posts. I want everyone to know that Matthew is eating solid foods, he is laughing and reading, he is planning his future, and trying to move around as much as possible while stuck on his back. He is amazingly strong. In this process, I recognized my own propensity to defend Matthew's condition, losses, and ailments. I wanted to emphasize his need for continued support while also highlighting his progress and sometimes this is hard. I know the losses he is suffering and the grief he is experiencing in some moments must be tremendous. Sometimes it hits me and I am overwhelmed by sadness, loss and anger of my own. This experience serves as a reminder that life is full of changing emotions, waves of different kinds of energy. We are all subject to react to these, to feed into these, to emphasize or minimize them. When a tragedy occurs, though, it seems as though we are subjected to the most intense waves of feelings and energy. We are tested in our abilities to allow each moment to come and go, to give into its power only with intention, to continue to feel the gravity, even if it threatens to break our hearts. At the end of each wave, we are invited to take a breath, to witness our own courage and strength, to heal a little more, and to appreciate the fullness of our lives.

I wish everyone a new year full of good intentions, positive energy, and most of all connection to our human spirit, full of compassion and wisdom.