Friday, January 8, 2010
Today Matthew talked about feeling more sensations in his body. He described these sensations as painful, but also mentioned that the doctors told him, "This is good because it means you are healing." It must be so frustrating to feel pain and simultaneously experience an inability to move, while also fantasizing about riding and being out and about again. He takes it in stride, welcoming his visitors to talk about their normal activities, including riding. He wants something to work towards, to look forward to and he consciously chooses this over resentment or settling for less. He would probably be really embarrassed to hear me say this, but he truly is an example of the power of positive energy, of focusing on healing and wellness in the most tragic of circumstances, and I believe he has a purpose to serve in this life. We will watch meaning unfold as it is displayed both to us collectively and as individuals as we move about our lives. There are so many lessons of humility and courage and honor. There will be times when we are reminded of what is important, when we imagine the pain that Matthew had to endure and we will see our own pain as insignificant in comparison. We will build compassion for ourselves and each other, knowing that life hands each of us challenges we never knew we could handle and we succeed in the light of our resiliency to become more full human beings. Matthew's struggles touch us all and invite us all to grow a little. I want to protect him from his pain, but at the same time, maybe he is protecting me by teaching me so early in my life more about what is important, more about what is possible, and most of all to always hold tightly to hope.