Friday, January 8, 2010

Feeling More

Today Matthew talked about feeling more sensations in his body. He described these sensations as painful, but also mentioned that the doctors told him, "This is good because it means you are healing." It must be so frustrating to feel pain and simultaneously experience an inability to move, while also fantasizing about riding and being out and about again. He takes it in stride, welcoming his visitors to talk about their normal activities, including riding. He wants something to work towards, to look forward to and he consciously chooses this over resentment or settling for less. He would probably be really embarrassed to hear me say this, but he truly is an example of the power of positive energy, of focusing on healing and wellness in the most tragic of circumstances, and I believe he has a purpose to serve in this life. We will watch meaning unfold as it is displayed both to us collectively and as individuals as we move about our lives. There are so many lessons of humility and courage and honor. There will be times when we are reminded of what is important, when we imagine the pain that Matthew had to endure and we will see our own pain as insignificant in comparison. We will build compassion for ourselves and each other, knowing that life hands each of us challenges we never knew we could handle and we succeed in the light of our resiliency to become more full human beings. Matthew's struggles touch us all and invite us all to grow a little. I want to protect him from his pain, but at the same time, maybe he is protecting me by teaching me so early in my life more about what is important, more about what is possible, and most of all to always hold tightly to hope.


  1. Dear Erin on behalf of Matthew, Odette and Tom,

    All of you are constantly in my heart, thoughts and prayers. Our family loves each of you and we are all inspired by Matthew's courage and positive attitude. He has touched more lives than he may know and your blog has been of great comfort and hope to all of us as well as to friends of mine who do not know any of you personally. I look forward to seeing all of you on Monday (unless you are working, then I will miss the opportunity to see you, Erin) and telling you in person how grateful I am to have you all in my life.

    Love, Roberta on behalf of Bob, Alex, Gillian and Marissa

  2. Dear Erin,

    Thank you for keeping us updated. I am sending hugs to Matthew, you and your parents. Thursday PM, I mailed your mom two prayer requests lists from my church. I asked my church friends to pray for Matthew too. I love all of you. Maria

  3. Well said Erin, as always. The power of positive thinking is truly awesome.

  4. Very glad to see Matt heal as well as he is and I've been reading this blog about it (when I'm able to) on a regular basis, keeping my thoughts with him and you guys, his family.

    Just wondering though, have you ever considered writing for a profession Erin? I mean, I don't know you personally and I don't know the kind of profession you're in, but the way you've put down the every day happenings concerning Matt's recovery have been a pleasant read. Not at all taking away from the gravity of the matter, I've been amazed about the way you've been able to put forth his every day struggle and victories on the battles fought on his way to recovery. It's been most inspiring! I think that with your positive thinking you've changed and influenced a lot of peoeple's every day thinking and life. You've certainly influenced mine in a positive way and I thank you for that.

    - Marcel

  5. I really, really appreciate all of the love and support. It warms my heart and gives me courage and strength everyday to deal with the new challenges handed to me.

  6. There will be peaks and valleys to Matt's recovery Erin. We all want to be there to help Matt, you, and your family through them all.